Anyway... most mornings when I am getting ready for the day the house is dark, quiet... no one is even thinking about putting their feet on the floor for at least a few more hours. So I do my best to keep it dark and quiet. Which does not always go smoothly for me in the clothing department if I haven't planned ahead. (I don't plan ahead often which is sometimes unfortunate. After this story I promise that is an effort I am willing to put forth.) The day I am talking about is like the best Exhibit A for my faulty (un)planning. I grab one of my favorite dresses and pair it with tights and a cardigan to make it work and weather appropriate. Or... so I thought.
On the way to work I'm thinking that maybe the cut of the dress is a little shorter than I had counted on and kept trying to shake that feeling that "something is off." I get to work a few minutes early, I head to the bathroom and -- holy crapola, I forgot the slip -- you can see straight through the fabric. Luckily, I haven't been seen by many and I get to work early most days when I'm on my own anyway so I duck out (at record speed, obvi) to Target in search of a slip. Just a slip. You know, those things you put under dresses or skirts to keep people from seeing the space between your legs or whatever. They're pretty common, I hear, and I know I've seen them a hundred thousand times at the Target near my home.
I get there and I'm circling the racks where they should be... circling... circling... frantically circling. An employee approaches me, clearly a little concerned, and I ask her about the slips.
"Oh, we recently stopped carrying those."
"..." I stop and think for a second or two. "You mean, you don't carry them at all?
"Nope."
"Oh... kay. Thanks."
Since I'm tight on time, I don't even waste a second. I just run to the juniors section and look for those elastic-waisted mini skirts all the girls have been wearing to school. I know they are in there somewhere and I'm just hoping that one of them will double-duty as a slip for the day and then, who knows, maybe as a dishrag the next. Almost right away I see one with loads of creamy pink baby ruffles that could maybe work with the purple of my dress but it's a friggin XXL and, of course, it's the last one. I take it anyway, knowing that with the elastic band it's only a matter of rolling once, maybe twice, and securing with something I can no doubt find in my desk. Get back to the parking lot, pull it on under my dress with a little peeking out at the bottom, get back to work and, I kid you not, I haven't received more compliments on a dress I've worn all semester. What was originally a pre-work disaster in my mind turned out to be a small success for my wardrobe and I actually spent the rest of the day feeling great without worrying about the sheer fabric of my dress.
This was also an even better lesson in the "one piece, two+ ways" arena. (I am bad about wearing the same thing, the same way and with an overflow of clothes in my closet that is just unacceptable.) Here are two different ways I wore it...
Back in July, I wore the same dress for our wine & dine dinner at Chateau Elan for our wedding anniversary. I belted it with the sash it came with to hike it up just a little and paired it with a studded headband and pretty, but sturdy, open toe mary janes to dress it up without overdoing it.
Shoes - Linea Paolo
And here I am at the end of that very long, wardrobe-malfunctioning day. This is how I actually wore it through the day...
Day-saving ruffle mini - Target
Black wrap-tie cardigan - Gap
Tights - F21
And here is one more way I could have worn it, though I don't know that I actually would and it's really just to show you the rolled/tucked/XXL ruffle mini in all its peep-show-saving glory...
On several occasions I've also thought about wearing it as a top with a study-fabric skirt. Think something like this but sans houndstooth and more understated:
(The actual color of the dress is closer to this picture. My malfunction pictures are all kinds of weird and messy, including colors.)
Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction before work or when you had to be somewhere and look presentable? What did you do to fix it? Were you pleased with the result or did it simply serve to get you through the day?
And seriously... where did all of the slips go?!
1 comment:
Who cares where they went?? You look amazing!! That is so creative. I need to try that now! Gotta find a ruffle skirt first! :)
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